Interrupted

My practice of blogging during this Lent was interrupted by death.  I set aside the conversations about dying "to" self or life or pre-occupated living.  I stopped talking about death and sank into its reality.  

Doug, my younger brother died.

Life as I knew it was interrupted in both permanent and temporary ways.

Permanent:  I will never see Doug, as I have known him, ever again.  My relationship with him must take a different course, and be expressed in a new way.

Some interruptions were temporary.  And, already, my life and my routines are returning to what one might call "normal".  No more constant trips to the hospital.  No more listening for the final word, looking for the last gaze, watching for the final breath.

No more crowds of family and friends standing there with wonderful words that often were awkward, yet always, always well intended.

No more need to qualify plans with the words "this is dependent upon what happens with Doug that day."

During this week I have sat with heartfelt laments of my immediate family.  Interestingly enough, with the extreme weather conditions we have had, I have also sat with heartfelt laments of many in this region who have also experienced interruptions.  The laments referred to weather, traffic, cancellations -- sincere laments, yet not about threats to life.  Rather, they were about disruptions in hopes and expectations, or physical maneuverability.

Here's the truth.   A lament is a lament regardless of its cause -- it is a plea for relief, comfort, and a desire for wholeness.  Another truth:  Interruptions can be joyful or grievous, depending upon the hope or expectation placed upon what which was interrupted.

And another truth, perhaps THE truth:  There really is only one hope that cannot and will not be shattered: -- Whatever is going on with daily routine, planning, or schedules for the future, God is there.  It only takes a shift of focus, whether you are at the bed a of dying brother, by the side or weeping relatives, or... in a traffic snarl or a group of people stranded at the airport.

God is there, poised to soothe the brow and calm the frustration of the moment.  All that is necessary is that you lean away from your own hopes and lean into the hope that is God's immeasurable love and care for you.