Friday, First Week of Lent

Forgiving is a Healing in Our Own Hearts

"So when you are offering your gift at the altar, if you remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar and go; first be reconciled to your brother or sister, and then come and offer your gift."  Matthew 5:23-24

We are told that the offering can wait until the relationship(s) that fester within our hearts have been reconciled.  In today's reading Nouwen reminds us that forgiving others releases the regions of the heart that have become resistant (or even hardened) to new ways of loving.

Not too long ago I literally lost it with a difficult person.  The "it" that I finally lost was the expectation that she be different than how she is.  "It" had kept me stuck in judgement that if she would be different, our relationship would change.  "It" kept stimulating hopeless hopes day after day.  I was constantly angry with her.

I made a choice to forgive her for the things that she does that hurt or frustrate me.  She sees no reason to be forgiven, which can be exasperating, of course.

But still, as I choose to forgive rather than judge or try to change her, I am more capable of living my side of the relationship with freedom and openness.   I can also be more curious about what there is to discover about her that was previously overshadowed by my anger.

Prayer:  Lord, help me see where I resist your call to forgive others.