Tuesday of Holy Week

We All 'Hand Others Over to Suffering'

Jesus was troubled in spirit, and declared, "Very truly, I tell you, one of you will betray me."  The disciples looked at one another, uncertain of whom he was speaking.  John 13:21-22

I recently was reminded of the Beatles' song, "She is leaving home."

My son sang it at a Conservatory concert, and he introduced it in this way:  "When I heard this when I was a teenager I focused upon the drama of the kind of defiant break through of the girl.  I saw the end of the story as a victory statement -- teen courage over parental control.  Now I see it in a different light.  I see the pain and suffering of what it is for people to live together and never see one another."

Now, years later, I am grateful that our family has had conversations about the years when nobody (including me) was able to see the others clearly and compassionately.  They were grueling years, and in many ways we did hand others over to suffering.  The years are over, and we have healed (and continue to heal) in ways we never thought possible.

But healing is far from perfection.  I know that even in the last year there is somebody who is suffering because of things I have done or have left undone.

So I take time today to pray with Henri Nouwen's words:  "When we are willing to confess that we often hand those we love over to suffering, even against our best intentions, we will be more ready to forgive those who, mostly against their will, are the causes of our pain."

Prayer:  Gracious God, help our relationships heal.  Forgive us, for so often we know not what we do.