Plans

This week's path has been twisting and turning. I have come up against walls and speedbumps. I have had interruptions and cancellations...and unforeseen challenges. I have been given the opportunity to weep when I wasn't expecting to...to laugh with people I rarely see... to rest at times when I usually am active... to pray when I usually am thinking ... and to be served by others in situations when I usually am the one who is serving.

So now I offer some lessons I have learned this week about making and completing my daily plans.

First of all... life is full of surprises... no surprise there. It seems that nomatter how well a week has been planned, there are always additional surprises that creep in. Obviously some of the surprises make me smile with delight...others make me knit my brow with concern. Some of the surprises come quickly and then recede from my awareness. Others claim my attention and then divert my steps from the path I had planned. One of my friend's favorite quips is: "We plan, God laughs!" Hmmmmm makes you wonder, doesn't it?

Quite often the first thing I notice when I am "surprised" is that my thoughts begin to escalate. They whirl around... my feelings about how the surprise has altered (or threatened) my expectations begin to enter the picture as well. Sometimes I am relieved by the surprise, especially if it interrupts something mundane, tedious, or even undesirable. I hear myself saying "Whew... this is a pleasant change of events!" At other times my lower lip goes out with childlike disappointment and I hear myself saying: "This isn't what I expected.... now my plans need to be changed." And at even other times I feel that strong inner core expanding beyond thoughts and feelings and reminding me to face the surprise and do what is necessary with grace.

When circumstances, my gut feelings, and my thoughts about possible responses are held in quiet (or sometimes fervent) prayer, I begin to notice a calm clarity that provides a space where my words can describe how I "am" with the surprise. I can speak to others (family, colleagues and friends) who might be effected by the way the surprise is altering my steps.

What I intially saw as being "derailed" turns into a re-direction of my time, my energy, and my attention. In some mysterious (but unsurprising) way, I am reminded again of God's interest in the way this wandering child, Pamela, meanders through the landscape of every day.

I know that God is always providing what I need to get through a situation... especially when the situation includes what might be seen as an unpleasant surprise. I am reminded constantly that one of the first steps to take when I feel derailed is the step towards God, being however I am (confused, disappointed, frightened, angry). God meets me there. God provides what will enable me to function with calm strength...with the confidence of God's presence and wisdom.

I made it through the week. My plans have changed many times. I have been given glimpses of God reaching out to me, many times through the words of peace, consolation and cooperation offered by others.

Thank you, my Lord. I love you!