Loneliness

It can happen anytime anyplace.

It can happen in a crowd, at a family gathering, even in worship.  It occurs when I realize that something is happening (or is not happening) that amplifies feelings of isolation, being discounted, ignored or misunderstood.  It happens when the words "you don't belong!" are screaming in my head.

For most people it is not a prevailing condition.  But most of us have experienced it.  This week at our Wednesday Evening discussion we were encouraged to revisit a time when we felt lonely.  So I did, and this is what I have learned.

I was never successful at thinking my way out of loneliness.  Oh sure, I could come up with strategies or options or alternatives or just whiteknuckle my way through the situation.  I could grit my teeth and vow to avoid the situation forevermore.

But as I have observed those places where I have felt lonely I realize that the pain of the experience is centered deep in my heart.  My mind wants to blame or justify or rationalize.  The mind may serve to obscure what is happening by denying its depth.  Often the thinking function ends up pointing a finger of judgement either at myself or at others saying:  Who cares?  This doesn't really matter. You don't matter. ("you" can refer to me or to the others) Get over it.

There is another way -- same body pose.  The other, more transformational way, is to say "I am lonely, right now.... and it hurts.  I yearn for comfort.  I want to be known, recognized and loved."

Move away from thinking.  Be lonely.  (God already knows that's what's going on with you.)  Trust the words we hear in scripture again and again and again.  "Fear not, I am with you!"

Loneliness is a deep spiritual yearning.  At its rawest center, humans cannot cure loneliness.  But God's Love in Christ does -- what God promises, God does.