Something about retreat

Can you recall the last time you have been on a spiritual retreat?  I'm talking about several days in succession when there really is nothing to be done other than sit before God in prayer.

I have just returned from a 4 day Retreat at the Abbey of the Genesee -- unstructured yet definitely guided.  Silent with myriad conversations.   Guided by God.  Conversations with God.  A time unlike any span of time that is possible out "here" in the public world.

There is something significantly different about time dedicated to basking in and with God.  Time passes in a different fashion.  Since the only thing to do is to be with God, all human action settles to the bottom of the life space I am occupying.  Like sediment in a beaker of water settles to the bottom when solution is no longer stirred, all of the "stuff" we carry with us each hour settles to the bottom of awareness when one's full attention is given to God's presence.



 Somehow nothing else really matters but what God is revealing, or giving or claiming as your heart rests in God, gradually (finally!) beating along with God's heart.

Normal life is hemmed or "contained" by time scheduled by some "body" for this (or that) activity.  Along with the activities come various stages of beginning and ending, areas of openness (freedom) and others that are limited or restricted by some one or some thing that says there is some place else to go -- or something else to do.

But on retreat, particularly on silent retreat, all of what defines my "regular" life is set aside.  Nobody and nothing has authority about how any span of time is to be passed.  Nothing can be greater than God -- unless I grant it permission to claim more of my full attention than I grant to God.

Why would I do that?

Well, sometimes because the familiarity of burdens or external limits seems more comfortable than the spaciousness of God's welcoming invitation to just "come and be in God's presence".  God's vastness and God's intimate knowledge of all that I carry exposes all of my pretense....

Once you go on a retreat like that you realize that you actually have to work to be the same as you were before the retreat.  And you know what?  I can't help but ask.... why would you ever do that?