Have you produced wild grapes? Try again!

There have been times when I have disappointed my friends.  It wasn't intentional, but it happened.

It began with an agreement to do something.  Plans were made that generated hopes and expectations.  Together we would be fruitful!  We were excited about the prospects.  But then something got in the way, and that something was me.

It may have been a distraction, or it may have been that I simply procrastinated.  The end result was that I was unable to keep up with my end of the bargain, and I eventually needed to make the call:   "I have let you down."

Most of the time the relationship has remained intact.  I would like to think that is because I am generally reliable and that my failures are few and far between (that is wishful thinking!)   I realize that it may be more about the other than about me.  It is because of the nature of the other to forebear and forgive.  For some inexplicable reason, my friend says:  Let's try again!

I think now of the many, many times I have wondered and prayed about possibilities that God is revealing.  I get hopeful, even excited about what God and I might be able to accomplish.  I hear God's call to deeper and more expansive love, ventures that can serve others in new ways, and I say:  "I'm in!  Use me and all I have!"

Sometimes, with God's help, I actually follow through, and the fruits are delightful!  Lavish and abundant ministry unfolds.

But then, there are the other times.  Just like the vineyard that produces wild grapes, this kid drops the ball and wanders around in circles that are unproductive at best (counterproductive at worst).  Everything gets tangled up.  Results are minimal.

It can feel like confusion or agitation - or like hitting a wall of hopelessness where nothing I do can get me moving toward the sense of purpose that was there just days ago!

I can relate to the plea of the Psalmist in this week's reading of Psalm 80.  Out of the awareness of the part I have played in the way things haven't unfolded in hope-filled or loving ways, I say to God, "I am sorry I have let you down.  Shine on me.  Show me again -- please!"

And then, it happens:  the friend, the Beloved says:  "Try again!"

I am amazed by how often that happens.  I am grateful that God's hope in Christ shines with such expansive promise.  I realize that all of this says much more about God than about me!