Years ago, when I was wrestling with a deepening sense of call to rostered ministry, I met regularly with Deaconess Judy Hoshek, assistant to the Bishop, for conversation. Over many breakfasts we went through the same questions: "Do you have a certain idea about how your gifts are to be used? If called to someplace unknown to you would you be willing to go?"
It would perplex me that my defined description of possibilities and my certainty of where and how my gifts could be used always resulted in her response: "Wait a while longer."
Then, one day, my responses to her questions were totally vague...."I'm not so sure now how the church will call my gifts into service.....and I realize I have no clue where the best place for me will be. However, I can no longer ignore God's call upon my life and service. I know I have no choice but to say 'yes'."
That was the day Deaconess Hoshek said, "It's time! Start filling out your paperwork!" That was the day I experienced the total certainty that God was leading me...it was the day I realized that in the midst of my own ideas and desires I risked choosing some sort of self-determined path. But in the ignorance (indeed, I was totally clueless!) of my mind, I could respond more freely to God's direction.
Read today's entry for "Praying the Mystery". Rev. Miller's prayer expresses the wonder of Jesus's composure and "certainty" about God's action.
Are you wondering about God's intentions for your gifts and abilities? Pray as long as it takes....let conditions or wonderment about possible outcomes settle.....pray as you listen for Jesus' call.....and wait...
Let your "yes" emerge from your heart...then it will be time to take action and follow!
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