Abbey (Part 4)

During one of the conferences, Father Jerome reminded the pilgrims (retreatants) that as we become quiet, and completely still,it may initially feel more threatening than welcoming.

When we set aside all of the thoughts, interests and activities that we use to define ourselves and clarify our meaning or purpose, it may feel like there is nothing to hold on to. When we stop "doing" or even "thinking" things that reflect some self-determined importance, it may feel like we are in the presence of a bottomless void (similar to one of the black holes in space). It may feel like a powerful vacuum.

Our faith reminds us, though, that when we pray we are presenting ourselves to the source of our being. When we pray we are more keenly aware that we are being drawn into the loving truth about who and how we are. There are at least two possible reasons for that "black hole" sensation. 1: Perhaps it has been so very long since we REALLY were open to receiving what our Creator knows we need most. 2: Perhaps God knows of a deep, intimate need we carry that we don't ourselves acknowledge. As God lavishes us with what we need it may feel like we are on the threshold of something that will literally overwhelm us. Anxiety and feelings of unworthiness may tempt us to move away from what is "possible" rather than accepting God's invitation to draw ever nearer to what God is offering.

Healing....the realization of how precious we are....the clarification of ways we lie to ourselves....instruction.....total rest....a call to confession.....forgiveness for what we have done or left undone....a call to forgive the "other"

The list, of course, goes on and on.....

Fr. Jerome reminded us that it is normal to initially feel anxious or fearful....but it is God who is drawing us in, bestowing us with whatever it is that will satisfy our longing. Fear Not, I am with you, Jesus says.....every single moment we pray.

ps: coming next.....the second kind of vacuum.