Hide and Seek

Last Sunday's lessons included the following:

Luke 15:1-5

“Now all the tax- collectors and sinners were coming near to listen to [Jesus] And the Pharisees and the scribes were grumbling and saying, “This fellow welcomes sinners and eats with them.” So he told them this parable: “Which of you, having a hundred sheep and losing one of them, does not leave the other ninety-nine in the wilderness and go after the one that is lost until he finds it. When he has found it, he lays it on his shoulders and rejoices.”

Most of us know what it is like to be temporarily turned around, or a bit disoriented. Some of us may even have experienced the terribly unsettling feeling of being totally lost...clueless.

Have you ever wondered about the part you play in your own spiritual wandering? I think we all wander about from time to time... after all, we are human...vulnerable to sin, temptation, and unable to attain spiritual security on our own.

I suppose there are times in everyone's life when situations and relationships are so smooth that we give little thought to the fact that the "best" that the world can offer -- or that any human can provide -- pales in comparison to the fullness that is possible through oneness in Christ. We experience the immediacy of pleasure or "happiness" and (all so often) hope that the good times won't come to an end. Sometimes we gather and protect "happiness" as if we could REALLY hide it from the inevitable movement of change. This is one way we may hide from the Good Shepherd, who is always pursuing us and inviting us into the whole, the more, that is possible, if we can let go of all situations and things nomatter how happy they make us feel.

Here's another way: When life is good, I don't dwell on the fact that there is always, ALWAYS, some aspect of myself, my thoughts, my actions that is not quite "in the fold" of the Good Shepherd. After all, things are going smoothly, so I'm less likely to be intentional about inclining my ear... listening with full attention ... for the voice of the shepherd who is always seeking me. I forget sometimes that I am like a sheep ... always capable of wandering away from the place Christ calls me to be, or the path God wishes me to take. In fact, the goodness that I see in MY SELF may actually tempt me to hide from becoming the full, sacrificial self to which Christ beckons me.

On the other hand, when life is bumpy and my fear and pain are on the front of my awareness, I am much more prone to seek God's hand that will draw me to comfort and safety. When I am bruised and broken I bleat out like a lost lamb, hoping desperately that in the midst of the world's chaos the Good Shepherd will hear and respond to my cry. And, no surprise, I have never been left in the dangerous, frightening place for very long -- the situation may not immediately or dramatically change, but my awareness of God's presence reestablishes my heart in fullness and hope.

Hiding... seeking... I suppose that's my life's variable rhythm. Thankfully, the Good Shepherd is not likewise variable.... the Lord is always seeking me, especially in those moments when I am, quite honestly, clueless that I myself am in hiding.

ps...read Praying the Mystery for Sept. 17