My First Spiritual Mentor

I was about 4 years old when I first noticed that there was something unique about Aunt Catherine. She had pop-bottle lenses in her glasses ... she had tiny whiskers on her face that scratched when she hugged me and gave me a kiss. Her hair looked the same for the 30 or so years I knew her (she died when I was in my early 30's and she was in her mid 90's). She always wore her red sweater on Christmas and any other special occasion and printed pastels when she was working (I think because they didn't show spots).

I suppose she changed over the years....but from where I viewed her, from my childhood until adulthood, she "looked" the same. She even smelled the same....no Estee Lauder here.... it was ivory soap on her face, "Mum" deodorant (she always quoted the advertisment line,"Mum's the word")Johnson's Baby powder somewhere on her body (I recall being facinated with her beautiful red powder puff that was in her bathroom) and either garlic or bleach on her hands.

Aunt Catherine had two sets of beads she always had with her...usually around her neck or in her apron pocket. One set was comprised of black stones...her everyday beads. I noticed when she came to stay with us that three times a day she took those beads out of her pocket and played with them...she was always very quiet while she was playing. The second set (the one I loved to look at) was made of crystal stones. She wore those on the same days she wore the red sweater....and on Sunday. I noticed she didn't play with them as much as the other ones, except one time when she happened to start playing with them when I was sitting next to her at her church.

At that stage of my life when I did attend church it was at a Congregational Church. Although I didn't understand the doctrinal differences between "my" church and Aunt Catherine's Roman Catholic Church, I thought that somehow the beads made a difference.

As the years passed and I grew in awareness about human behavior, I couldn't help but notice that Aunt Catherine was "solid". She was compassionate, truthful, joyful, patient, humble, and exceedingly flexible. For Aunt Catherine every day was a good day. Phrases like "waste not, want not", "do what you have to do", "Good Lord willing and the creek don't rise" were standards when Aunt Catherine was speaking. And if her sister-in-law (my grandmother) was acting out (which she usually did) Aunt Catherine would quietly withdraw from the room....That was when I would often find her in her rocking chair with her beads in her hand.

These lasting impressions have helped to form my prayer life. I don't use a rosary...but I do pray several times a day. Aunt Catherine's phrases resonate in my heart, and her "way" of accepting every day as a good and precious gift from God which should never be wasted or wished away has been internalized. She didn't impose herself as my spiritual mentor... she simply was.

When Aunt Catherine was layed out in her coffin, she wore a pink silk blouse -- no pattern, just beautiful fabric. She had her crystal beads in her hands....

Rest in peace, Aunt Catherine!

A love/hate relationship

"Now large crowds were traveling with [Jesus]; and he turned and said to them, “Whoever comes to me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters, yes, and even life itself, cannot be my disciple. Whoever does not carry the cross and follow me cannot be my disciple.”
Luke 14:25-27

What a way to begin the Church Education Year! The readings obliterate any idea we may have had that Jesus will share his space in our life with anybody or anything else. How can we embrace his words as we travel with Jesus?

Consider what it means to "hate" someone. (Webster's definition for hate: intense hostility and aversion usually deriving from fear, anger, or sense of injury; extreme dislike or antipathy.) We hate people and groups whose interests consistently conflict with our own. People whose behavior threatens one's own survival interests are to be hated.

Jesus knew first hand the requirement he was imposing upon his followers. As he surrendered to the will of God, there were times that his family members and friends questioned his actions. They wondered about his motives. They advised him to try other avenues. However, God was at the center of everything Jesus saught. Jesus was not called to survive. He was called to die so that the power of the resurrection could be unleashed. Any diversion or distraction from that divine purpose was detrimental --in conflict -- and therefore, hated.

As disciples, now, we live with a tension between unconditional love and radical hatred. Christ's love in our heart enables us to love family members who are supportive as well as those who are amongst the unlovable ones in the world, even the ones who have committed seemingly unforgiveable deeds. However, Christ's love in our heart also clarifies our purpose -- our call to serve others -- so clearly that if any family member, or friend, or colleague serves to divert or distract us from living as radically loving, selfless, serving followers of Christ, we are to hate them.

Tough love... yet as we strive to maintain a pure, clear focus upon Christ we can trust that in that center, which is God's Infinite love, we will be united in ways that transcend any expression of human relationship...whether it is one of love or of hate.

Your comments?

ps...read "Praying the Mystery" from Sept. 10!